Boy please (Resume Review)

Why is it that every time you see me you are trying to get my number or come to me with those week azz lines that I really don't feel like falling for. Maybe if you had caught me down the street on low self esteem lane or fall for anything court, I would have feel for your typical lines, but since you here you may as well sit down enjoy the ride and let me ask you a few questions about this resume you have given me.

Ok so here goes, do you have any goals? How about short term goals or long term goals? Or better yet where do you see yourself in 5 years? Cause if you don't know where you are heading, how can you have direction. Do you currently have a job or career? Do you like your current employer? Do you have an IRA or 401K plan set up for your retirement? Do you have a bank account and established credit? A job is just the stepping stone for a career, and if you have yourself set up for success in the long run , that means you have major plans for your life. Do you have a car? If accepted for your friendship, I just wanna make sure I don't have to drive to every movie or dinner date. Do you have any kids? If so how many? How many baby's mommas do you have? Are you just a father, daddy, sperm donor, or DNA provider? I'm just trying to see if what your relationship pattern is and if you know how to let go and just be a father and be friends with your child/children's mother. Do you have any mental issues or possessive traits? I just need to make sure you don't try to hurt me or act crazy when I do something to benefit me and mine. Why do you think that everywoman wants to be your lover, girlfriend, or wife? What makes you friend, lover, boyfriend, husband or shit even cut friend material? What do you have to bring into this friendship/relationship that will COMPLIMENT me? Just want to make sure you are not overly confident in yourself, over confident in ways that your feelings may get hurt or you may be brought back to reality. What is it that made you wanna stop and apply for employment with me? I just wanna make sure you are up for the job, that you can sustain long tiring demanding hours. And why do you think that since I am an older woman that I am weak, despearate, and just plain stupid. Just know that whatever happens will only happen because I want it to . Can a woman feel secure or safe in letting you take control of the friendship/relationship? And would you be worried about what another brother can bring to the table? If your up on your game no one could come between or break the foundation that you built.

Last question on this interview? Why should you be selected for this position? What is so unique about you that would make me select you and not someone else?